Not this. Anything but this.

Ladies and Gentlemen... the #1 contender to the WWE Championship stands at 7'3", and weighs in at 420 pounds. He hails from the Punjabi jungles of India... and is the worst wrestler ever. He is...

HORRIBLE!

No, no, no, no! Anything but this! Please! Raw this week started off great - Orton vs Edge was a heck of a match, and Umaga vs RVD wasn't half bad. But then the finish... are we sure Vince Russo didn't secretly resign with the WWE? We're not going to have a Punjabi Prison on a Pole match, right?

Shawn Michaels is laid out in the back. John Cena is found at the scene of the crime. Along with Val Venis, though, so it's not like that means anything. We suspect Edge. Then, later, we see Edge has been attacked as well. Thoughts come running through my head - is he faking? Was it Orton? Well, it wasn't Orton, because HE was then attacked in the back. Who would do such a thing?

WRRRAAAPPPPAAADDDOOOOOO, and THE CHAMP IS HERE!!! Mr. John Cena. He gets on the mic and tells the attacker to, "COME GET SOME!" Who's going to come out and challenge him? Who was the culprit?? How many more question marks can I use?!?!?

(Insert Indian Music here.)

And the hearts of the millions of WWE fans sink as the Great Khali comes out. He beats up Cena (a mild cheer from the IWC), but the Champ fights back. He gets Khali up for the FU- wait a minute. He gets Khali up for the FU?

There goes the WWE ruining the only - the ONLY - interesting thing about this possible match. Cena is the new Hogan, according to Vincent Kennedy McMahon, we all know that. Meanwhile, Khali is big. Who else is big? Lexington Steele. I don't mean in that department, self. Big Show. He's injured and semi-retired. Big John Studd. Dead. Who's Big John Studd? ...wait, you just named him. I was just putting words together. Oh. Right.

No, of course, I'm talking about Andre the Giant. Ohhhhhhhh! Shut up. What happened at Wrestlemania 3? King Kong Bundy beating up midgets? No, apart from that. What I am referring to, of course, is Hulk Hogan slamming Andre. Rumors were all over the web about Wrestlemania 23 and the possibility of this being done as a 20th anniversary kind of thing, with Hogan coming back to slam the Great Khali, but of course Hogan is an idiot so nothing happened there.

But, I'm sure Vincent still wants to commemorate that moment. Thus, we get the new Hogan against the new Andre. Make a bit of sense, it does. But then they go and spoil this moment that they could have done at a Pay Per View by wasting it on Raw! What the hell?!?

I can see what Vincent is trying to do here, though. He's not deaf - he hears the chants. Whole arenas booing his supposedly super-face WWE Champion John Cena is not what Vincent wants. Thus, he sends someone that people are going to boo more than they boo Cena. It does make a bit of sense, but honestly. No-one is booing Khali because he is a heel. People boo Khali because he is one of the worst wrestlers in the history of wrestling. Being tall does not make you a good wrestler! Height does not equal ability, Vince! Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Please, Vince. I'd rather see you with the title than Khali. Oh, wait, you already have the title. Silly me.